How I Chose Them, But They Didn’t Choose Me- My Failed (Workplace) Relationship

I finally did it! I finally made it into a job in my field that I loved. I woke up every day and enjoyed going to work. I enjoyed the work, I enjoyed the team, it was great! So I thought……

Employee-employer relationships, like all relationships, need to be mutual. If they are not, it does not end well. I waited for months for my so-called “dream relationship” to accept me. I followed up email, after email, after email. I wanted this relationship, badly. Finally, they said, “We are ready!” I was so excited; I finally was getting to be in a relationship I actually enjoyed.

But guess what, so many red flags I ignored in this relationship. In a relationship, when you ignore red flags, doesn’t it always end bad?? Naïve ole’ me.

Red

Red Flag 1: When I initially started the 5-month long process, I set my expectations. Finally, when I heard back, everything was below my expectations. But I thought, it’s okay, there is a plus side. I will be happy.

Red Flag 2: My commute was not easy and not close, it wasn’t cheap either, but I said the experience was worth it.

(Now don’t get me wrong, I am a big advocate of experience and happiness over money, but make sure you can comfortably make ends meet)

Red Flag 3: No benefits.  (Have you ever been in a relationship where you did everything for your partner, but they didn’t give much in return?) This was my first.

(After starting the relationship Red Flags)

Red Flag 4: Multiple failed relationships before me. When I noticed this, I should’ve been searching for a new relationship. But, no, not hardworking dedicated me.

Red Flag 5: I started to notice, there was not much room for growth. Could be in that relationship for 4 years with no hope for marriage.

Red Flag 6: All of my deadlines started being pushed up and I was being rushed. DUH! Everything needed to be finished before I hit the chopping block.

Red (1) I WAS BLIND

I chose them, but they did not choose me. Knowing how much I wanted that relationship, that was taken advantage of. I showed my cards to quickly. I ignored all the red flags, but the universe decided, “since you aren’t opening your eyes, I’ll help you.”

 

“WE HAVE TO LET YOU GO.”

person people woman hand

They broke up with me! I dreaded hearing those words, I spent the day distraught, but the next day, I was back to it. Time to find a new relationship.  I needed that, I needed to have a wakeup call.

I went somewhere I wasn’t valued, somewhere that took advantage of my dedication to them. These are things I should’ve had seen, but I do not regret it, it was a lesson. I am grateful that I got this lesson so young.

 

 

 

This Lesson Opened Greater Opportunities

This wakeup call allowed me to be chosen, not by one, not by two, but by 3 who valued me, who saw my hard work, who chose me before I chose them. Now the hard part, I HAVE TO CHOOSE! I HAVE OPTIONS. I think I am off to a good long-term relationship.


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